Building Relationships Based on Respect, Choice and Communication
Healthy relationships are an important part of university life.
Relationships can provide:
- Friendship.
- Support.
- Connection.
- Intimacy.
- Personal growth.
Whether relationships are romantic, sexual, platonic or professional, they should be built upon mutual respect, communication and choice.
Everyone has the right to feel safe, respected and able to make decisions about their own body, relationships and personal boundaries.
What Is Consent?
Consent means:
Freely agreeing to something through choice.
Consent is about giving permission, not assuming permission.
For consent to be meaningful, a person must:
- Have a genuine choice.
- Feel free from pressure.
- Understand what they are agreeing to.
- Be able to change their mind.
Consent should never be assumed.
Consent Must Be Freely Given
Consent cannot be obtained through:
- Pressure.
- Threats.
- Intimidation.
- Manipulation.
- Coercion.
- Guilt.
- Fear.
If someone feels unable to say no, genuine consent may not be present.
Healthy relationships allow people to make decisions without fear of consequences.
Consent Is Ongoing
Consent is not a one-time event.
Consent should exist throughout an interaction.
Someone can:
✓ Agree initially.
✓ Change their mind later.
✓ Withdraw consent at any point.
Everyone has the right to change their mind, even if they have previously agreed.
Consent Is Specific
Agreeing to one thing does not mean agreeing to everything.
For example:
- Agreeing to a date does not mean agreeing to physical intimacy.
- Agreeing to kiss someone does not mean agreeing to sexual activity.
- Agreeing previously does not mean agreeing again in the future.
Each situation requires its own consent.
Consent and Capacity
Consent requires a person to be able to make an informed decision.
A person may be unable to consent if they are:
- Unconscious.
- Asleep.
- Severely intoxicated.
- Experiencing certain medical emergencies.
- Otherwise unable to understand or communicate their decision.
Where there is uncertainty, the safest assumption is that consent has not been given.
What Does Respect Look Like?
Respectful relationships are about more than consent.
Respect involves:
✓ Listening.
✓ Honesty.
✓ Trust.
✓ Equality.
✓ Communication.
✓ Boundaries.
✓ Mutual consideration.
People should feel valued, heard and able to express their views without fear.
Understanding Boundaries
Boundaries are the limits people set around:
- Physical contact.
- Personal space.
- Communication.
- Relationships.
- Privacy.
- Time and availability.
Boundaries may differ from person to person.
Respecting boundaries means accepting those differences without pressure or judgement.
Healthy Relationships
Healthy relationships often include:
✓ Mutual respect.
✓ Open communication.
✓ Shared decision-making.
✓ Trust.
✓ Independence.
✓ Support.
✓ Equality.
People should feel comfortable being themselves and maintaining relationships with friends, family and support networks.
Unhealthy Relationship Behaviours
Some behaviours can indicate that a relationship is becoming unhealthy.
Examples may include:
- Excessive jealousy.
- Monitoring someone's activities.
- Controlling behaviour.
- Isolation from friends or family.
- Pressure relating to intimacy.
- Repeated disregard for boundaries.
- Emotional manipulation.
These behaviours should not be dismissed as signs of affection or commitment.
Consent in Digital Spaces
Consent applies online as well as offline.
Examples include:
- Sharing photographs.
- Sharing videos.
- Sending messages.
- Recording conversations.
- Sharing personal information.
Before sharing content involving another person, ask:
Have they agreed?
Would they expect this to be shared?
Could sharing it cause harm or embarrassment?
Respect should extend to all digital interactions.
Alcohol, Drugs and Consent
Alcohol and drugs can affect a person's ability to make informed decisions.
If someone is significantly intoxicated:
- Consent may not be possible.
- Communication may be impaired.
- Judgement may be affected.
If there is any doubt about whether someone can consent, the safest decision is to stop and ensure they are safe.
Consent in Established Relationships
Being in a relationship does not remove the need for consent.
Consent remains important regardless of:
- Relationship status.
- Length of relationship.
- Previous intimacy.
- Living arrangements.
Everyone has the right to make decisions about their own body and boundaries.
Respecting Rejection
One of the most important aspects of respectful relationships is accepting when someone says:
- No.
- Not now.
- I am not interested.
- I have changed my mind.
Rejection can be disappointing, but it should always be respected.
No one is entitled to another person's attention, affection, time or intimacy.
Looking Out for Others
We all have a role in creating a culture of respect.
You can help by:
✓ Challenging harmful attitudes.
✓ Respecting boundaries.
✓ Supporting friends.
✓ Promoting consent.
✓ Speaking up when something feels wrong.
✓ Seeking support if you are concerned about someone.
Small actions help create safer communities.
If Something Doesn't Feel Right
If you feel uncomfortable, pressured or unsafe in a relationship:
✓ Trust your instincts.
✓ Talk to someone you trust.
✓ Seek support.
✓ Explore your options.
You do not have to wait until a situation becomes a crisis before asking for help.
If Someone Shares a Concern With You
If someone tells you they have experienced unwanted behaviour:
✓ Listen.
✓ Take them seriously.
✓ Avoid judgement.
✓ Respect their choices.
✓ Help them access support.
You do not need to have all the answers to be supportive.
Key Message
Consent is about choice, communication and respect.
Healthy relationships are built upon trust, equality, mutual respect and the freedom to make decisions without pressure or fear.
By understanding consent, respecting boundaries and promoting healthy relationships, we can help create a safer, more inclusive and more respectful university community for everyone.