Staying Connected While Staying Safe
Digital technology is an important part of modern life. It helps us learn, work, socialise and maintain relationships with others.
Whether communicating through:
- Text messages
- WhatsApp and group chats
- Social media
- Video calls
- Gaming platforms
- Location-sharing apps
healthy relationships rely on the same foundations online as they do offline:
- Trust
- Respect
- Consent
- Communication
- Personal boundaries
Understanding digital boundaries can help you maintain healthy relationships and recognise when online behaviour may be becoming unhealthy, controlling or abusive.
What Are Digital Boundaries?
Digital boundaries are the limits we set around how we communicate and interact online.
Everyone has different preferences about:
- How often they communicate
- How quickly they respond to messages
- What information they share
- What they post online
- Who can contact them
- What level of privacy they expect
Healthy relationships respect these differences.
Healthy Digital Relationships
In healthy digital relationships, people:
✓ Respect each other's privacy
✓ Accept that people may not always reply immediately
✓ Communicate openly and respectfully
✓ Respect requests for space
✓ Do not pressure others to share personal information
✓ Seek consent before sharing photos or personal content
✓ Support independence and friendships outside the relationship
✓ Trust one another
Healthy relationships should make you feel respected, valued and safe.
Not Everyone Is Available All the Time
Many people feel pressure to respond immediately to messages.
However, being online does not mean someone is available.
People may be:
- Attending lectures
- Working
- Studying
- Spending time with family
- Resting
- Looking after their wellbeing
Healthy communication recognises that delayed responses are normal.
Repeated messages demanding an immediate reply can sometimes create unnecessary pressure or anxiety.
Privacy Matters
Everyone has a right to privacy.
In healthy relationships, people do not expect:
- Access to personal passwords
- Access to private accounts
- Access to private messages
- Constant updates on whereabouts
- Access to devices or browsing history
Trust should not require giving up privacy.
If someone pressures you to share passwords or personal information, it may be a sign that boundaries are not being respected.
Location Sharing and Tracking
Many apps now allow people to share their location in real time.
Location sharing can be useful when:
- Meeting friends
- Travelling safely
- Coordinating plans
However, location sharing should always be:
- Voluntary
- Mutual
- Time-limited where appropriate
It should never be used to:
- Monitor someone's movements
- Check up on them constantly
- Control where they go
- Demand proof of their whereabouts
If someone becomes angry because you turn off location sharing, this may indicate an unhealthy dynamic.
Sharing Images and Personal Content
Consent is important online as well as offline.
Before sharing photographs, videos or personal information about someone else:
Ask yourself:
- Do they know I am sharing this?
- Have they agreed?
- Would they feel comfortable with this?
Everyone has the right to decide what information about them is shared online.
Sharing intimate images without consent is never acceptable and may be a criminal offence.
Online Jealousy and Monitoring
It is normal to feel curious about the lives of people we care about.
However, constantly monitoring another person's:
- Social media activity
- Friendships
- Likes and comments
- Online status
- Location
can become unhealthy.
Questions to consider:
- Do I trust this person?
- Am I checking because of genuine concern or because I feel anxious?
- Is my behaviour helping the relationship or damaging it?
Healthy relationships are built on trust rather than surveillance.
Digital Red Flags
Some behaviours can indicate that a relationship is becoming unhealthy.
Examples may include:
Excessive Messaging
- Repeatedly demanding responses
- Becoming angry when replies are delayed
- Sending large numbers of messages after being asked to stop
Monitoring Behaviour
- Tracking social media activity
- Demanding access to devices
- Checking messages
- Monitoring locations
Isolation
- Pressuring someone to leave group chats
- Criticising friendships
- Discouraging contact with family or friends
Control
- Telling someone who they can talk to
- Demanding passwords
- Dictating online behaviour
- Monitoring online interactions
Intimidation
- Threatening to share information
- Threatening to post images
- Using digital communication to frighten or manipulate someone
These behaviours should not be ignored.
Digital Boundaries in Friendships
Boundaries are not only important in romantic relationships.
Healthy friendships also involve:
- Respecting personal space
- Accepting when someone is unavailable
- Respecting privacy
- Avoiding pressure or guilt
- Maintaining mutual respect
Friendships should not leave you feeling constantly monitored, criticised or controlled.
Digital Boundaries in Student Life
University often involves joining:
- Course group chats
- Placement communication groups
- Society groups
- Shared social media spaces
Remember:
- You do not have to share personal information.
- You do not have to be available at all times.
- You have the right to leave conversations that make you uncomfortable.
- You have the right to set boundaries around communication.
Healthy communities respect individual boundaries.
When Does It Become Abuse?
Sometimes unhealthy digital behaviour becomes part of a wider pattern of abuse.
This may include:
- Stalking
- Coercive control
- Domestic abuse
- Harassment
- Sexual misconduct
- Honour-based abuse
Behaviour is particularly concerning when it is:
- Repeated
- Unwanted
- Controlling
- Intimidating
- Fear-inducing
If someone's behaviour is making you feel frightened, trapped or constantly monitored, support is available.
Supporting Someone Else
If someone shares concerns about digital behaviour:
- Listen without judgement
- Take their concerns seriously
- Avoid minimising the behaviour
- Encourage them to seek support
- Help them understand available options
What may seem minor to one person may have a significant impact on someone else.
Getting Support
If you are experiencing:
- Excessive monitoring
- Online harassment
- Digital stalking
- Coercive control
- Threats
- Image-based abuse
- Unwanted contact
you do not need to manage it alone.
Support and reporting options are available through the University's Report and Support platform.
You can seek advice, support and guidance even if you are unsure whether what you are experiencing is abusive.
Key Message
Healthy relationships are built on trust, respect and consent—both online and offline.
Technology should help us stay connected, not leave us feeling controlled, monitored or unsafe.
Setting and respecting digital boundaries is an important part of maintaining healthy relationships and protecting our wellbeing.