When Someone Is Struggling
Most people will encounter a situation where a friend, colleague, student or family member appears to be in significant emotional distress.
You may notice:
- Panic or overwhelming anxiety.
- Severe distress.
- Expressions of hopelessness.
- Thoughts of self-harm.
- Suicidal thoughts.
- Confusion or disorientation.
- Behaviour that causes concern.
These situations can feel frightening, particularly if you are worried about saying or doing the wrong thing.
You do not need to be a mental health professional or safeguarding expert to provide initial support.
Often, remaining calm, listening and seeking appropriate help can make a significant difference.
What Do We Mean by a Crisis?
A crisis is not always a medical emergency.
A person may be experiencing a crisis if they feel unable to cope with their current situation or if there are concerns about their safety or wellbeing.
Examples may include:
- Severe emotional distress.
- Panic attacks.
- Significant anxiety.
- Self-harm concerns.
- Suicidal thoughts.
- Traumatic events.
- Significant safeguarding concerns.
- Mental health crises.
Every situation is different.
What feels manageable for one person may feel overwhelming for another.
First Things First: Stay Calm
When someone is distressed, your calm presence can be reassuring.
Try to:
✓ Speak calmly.
✓ Listen carefully.
✓ Remain patient.
✓ Avoid rushing the conversation.
✓ Focus on the person's immediate needs.
You do not need to solve the problem.
Your role is often to help someone feel supported while appropriate help is identified.
If Someone Is Having a Panic Attack
Panic attacks can be frightening for both the individual and those around them.
A person experiencing a panic attack may:
- Feel overwhelmed.
- Experience rapid breathing.
- Feel dizzy or lightheaded.
- Report chest tightness.
- Feel detached from reality.
- Believe something terrible is about to happen.
Although panic attacks can feel intense, they will usually pass.
How You Can Help
✓ Stay calm.
✓ Speak slowly and clearly.
✓ Reassure the person that they are safe.
✓ Encourage slow breathing if they find this helpful.
✓ Reduce unnecessary stimulation where possible.
✓ Stay with them if it is safe and appropriate to do so.
Avoid:
✗ Telling them to "calm down."
✗ Dismissing their experience.
✗ Overwhelming them with questions.
If Someone Is Extremely Distressed
A person may appear:
- Tearful.
- Overwhelmed.
- Angry.
- Withdrawn.
- Unable to concentrate.
- Unable to make decisions.
In these situations:
✓ Listen.
✓ Give them time.
✓ Acknowledge their feelings.
✓ Ask what support would help.
Simple responses such as:
"I'm glad you told me."
"You don't have to deal with this alone."
can be very powerful.
If Someone Talks About Self-Harm
Self-harm can take many forms and may be used as a way of coping with emotional distress.
If someone tells you they are self-harming:
✓ Remain calm.
✓ Take them seriously.
✓ Listen without judgement.
✓ Encourage professional support.
✓ Seek safeguarding advice if you are concerned about their safety.
Avoid:
✗ Reacting with shock.
✗ Becoming angry.
✗ Making assumptions.
✗ Minimising their experiences.
If Someone Mentions Suicide
Many people worry that asking about suicide will make things worse.
Research consistently shows that asking someone about suicidal thoughts does not cause suicidal behaviour.
If you are worried, it is okay to ask direct but compassionate questions.
For example:
"Have you been having thoughts about harming yourself?"
"Have you been thinking about ending your life?"
These questions can help people feel heard and may provide important information about risk.
Signs That Immediate Help May Be Needed
Seek urgent help if someone:
- States they intend to end their life.
- Has a specific suicide plan.
- Has access to means and intends to use them.
- Has recently attempted suicide.
- Appears unable to keep themselves safe.
- Is experiencing a severe mental health crisis.
- Is unconscious or unresponsive.
In these situations, emergency support may be required.
When Should I Contact Emergency Services?
Call emergency services immediately if:
- There is an immediate risk to life.
- Someone has seriously harmed themselves.
- Someone has taken an overdose.
- A suicide attempt is in progress.
- Someone is unconscious.
- A person is experiencing a medical emergency.
- There is an immediate threat of serious harm.
If in doubt, prioritise safety and seek urgent assistance.
When Should I Seek Safeguarding Advice?
You should consider seeking safeguarding advice where:
- You are worried about someone's safety.
- Self-harm concerns are escalating.
- Suicidal thoughts have been disclosed.
- There are concerns about abuse or exploitation.
- The person appears particularly vulnerable.
- You are unsure how serious the situation is.
You do not need certainty before seeking advice.
Safeguarding teams are there to help assess concerns and identify appropriate support options.
What If They Don't Want Help?
This can be one of the most difficult situations.
Adults generally have the right to make their own decisions, including decisions others may not agree with.
However, where there are significant concerns about safety or serious risk, support may still need to be sought.
If you are unsure:
✓ Seek advice.
✓ Discuss your concerns with safeguarding professionals.
✓ Do not carry responsibility for the situation alone.
Looking After Yourself
Supporting someone in crisis can be emotionally demanding.
You may experience:
- Worry.
- Fear.
- Frustration.
- Sadness.
- Self-doubt.
These reactions are normal.
Remember:
✓ You are not expected to fix everything.
✓ You are not responsible for someone else's choices.
✓ Seeking help is often the most supportive action you can take.
✓ You may need support too.
Helpful Reminders
DO
✓ Stay calm.
✓ Listen.
✓ Take concerns seriously.
✓ Ask direct questions if you are worried about suicide.
✓ Seek support and advice.
✓ Prioritise safety.
DON'T
✗ Promise secrecy.
✗ Panic.
✗ Minimise concerns.
✗ Leave someone alone if you believe they are at immediate risk.
✗ Take sole responsibility for managing the situation.
Key Message
You do not need to be an expert to support someone in crisis.
Listening, remaining calm, taking concerns seriously and seeking appropriate help can make a significant difference.
If you are ever unsure whether a situation requires additional support, it is usually better to seek advice than to manage concerns alone.
When someone's safety may be at risk, asking for help is a sign of care, not failure.