If You Are Experiencing So-Called "Honour-Based" Abuse
If you are experiencing abuse, threats, coercion or pressure from family members, a partner, former partner or members of your community, you may feel frightened, isolated, conflicted or unsure what to do next.
You may care deeply about the people involved whilst also feeling unsafe, controlled or unable to make your own choices.
It is important to know that abuse is never your fault.
There is nothing dishonourable about making your own choices about your education, relationships, beliefs, identity or future.
There is also nothing dishonourable about seeking support.
You do not have to face this alone.
Understanding So-Called Honour-Based Abuse
So-called honour-based abuse is a form of abuse used to control, punish or pressure someone who is perceived to have brought shame, embarrassment or dishonour to their family or community.
It may involve:
- Emotional abuse
- Threats or intimidation
- Coercive control
- Isolation from friends or support networks
- Monitoring of your movements, communications or relationships
- Restrictions on education, work or social activities
- Physical violence
- Sexual violence
- Financial control
- Pressure relating to relationships, marriage, faith or lifestyle choices
Sometimes multiple family or community members may be involved.
There is nothing honourable about abuse.
Think
Are You in Immediate Danger?
If you are in immediate danger or have been seriously injured, contact the emergency services on 999 (or 112 from a mobile phone).
If possible, move to a place where you feel safe.
If you believe you may be at risk of being taken abroad against your wishes, or are facing immediate threats of violence, seek urgent help.
Trust Your Instincts
People experiencing so-called honour-based abuse often minimise what is happening or feel pressure to prioritise the needs of others over their own safety.
If something feels wrong, controlling or frightening, trust your instincts.
You do not need to wait until a situation becomes more serious before seeking support.
You Do Not Need to Have All the Answers
You may feel uncertain about:
- What is happening
- Whether it is abuse
- What support you want
- What impact reporting may have
- How family members may react
These feelings are normal.
Support services can help you explore your options without pressure.
Talk
Speak to Someone You Trust
If it feels safe to do so, consider talking to:
- A trusted friend
- A member of staff
- A tutor
- A manager
- A wellbeing adviser
- A safeguarding adviser
Sometimes talking through your concerns can help you make sense of what is happening and understand what support is available.
Mental Health and Wellbeing Support
Experiencing abuse, coercion or family pressure can have a significant impact on wellbeing.
You may experience:
- Anxiety
- Fear
- Stress
- Low mood
- Isolation
- Guilt
- Confusion
- Difficulty concentrating
The University's Mental Health and Wellbeing Team can provide a safe and confidential space to discuss your experiences and explore support options.
Report
Report + Support
Students and staff can raise concerns through the University's Report + Support system.
You can:
- Make an anonymous report
- Request support from an adviser
- Discuss your options confidentially
An adviser can help you understand the support available and any informal or formal options that may be appropriate.
Safeguarding Support
The University's Safeguarding Team can help assess risks, provide advice and coordinate support where there are concerns about abuse, coercion, forced marriage or personal safety.
You do not need to have proof before seeking advice.
If you are worried, please reach out.
Forced Marriage
If You Are Being Pressured Into Marriage
A forced marriage occurs when one or both people do not freely and fully consent to the marriage and pressure, threats, coercion or abuse are used.
Forced marriage is illegal in the UK.
If you are worried about pressure to marry, engagement plans being made without your consent, or concerns about travelling abroad, seek support as soon as possible.
Do not assume you must deal with the situation on your own.
Important Safety Information
If you believe you may be at risk:
- Do not attempt to manage the situation alone.
- Do not agree to travel if you are concerned about your safety.
- Consider speaking to a safeguarding adviser before discussing concerns with family members.
- Keep important documents and emergency contact information accessible where possible.
Remember that every situation is different. Support services can help you consider options that prioritise your safety and wellbeing.
Get Support
Choose Support That Feels Right for You
Some people prefer University-based support.
Others may feel more comfortable accessing specialist external organisations with expertise in supporting individuals affected by:
- So-called honour-based abuse
- Forced marriage
- Domestic abuse
- Family-based coercion
- Cultural or community-based abuse
There is no right or wrong choice.
What matters is finding support that feels safe and appropriate for you.
Take Care of Yourself
Experiencing abuse or control can be exhausting emotionally and physically.
Try to:
- Stay connected to people you trust
- Access support early
- Prioritise your safety
- Seek medical or wellbeing support if needed
- Remember that your feelings are valid
You deserve to be treated with dignity, respect and compassion.
Remember
You have the right to:
- Make your own choices
- Access education
- Build relationships of your choosing
- Live free from abuse and coercion
- Seek support without judgement
Culture, family, faith and community can be important sources of identity and belonging.
Abuse, control and violence should never be justified in their name.
Support is available, and you do not have to navigate this alone.