This Is Happening to Someone I Know
If you are worried that someone may be experiencing domestic abuse, there are a number of ways you can help.
You may be concerned about a friend, family member, fellow student, colleague, learner or another member of the University community.
People experiencing domestic abuse do not always recognise what is happening as abuse, and they may feel frightened, isolated, embarrassed or unsure about seeking help.
Simply listening, offering support and helping someone understand their options can make a significant difference.
Recognising the Signs
Domestic abuse can take many forms and is not always physical.
You may be concerned if someone:
- appears frightened of their partner, ex-partner or family member
- frequently changes plans because of another person's demands
- becomes isolated from friends, family or colleagues
- appears withdrawn, anxious or distressed
- receives excessive calls, messages or contact from one person
- has unexplained injuries or injuries that do not match explanations given
- has limited access to money or resources
- seems unusually fearful about making decisions independently
- experiences a sudden decline in wellbeing, attendance or engagement
- talks about feeling trapped, controlled or constantly monitored
These signs do not always mean domestic abuse is occurring, but they may indicate that support is needed.
How Can I Help?
Listen
If someone chooses to talk to you, try to:
- listen without judgement
- believe what they are telling you
- allow them to speak at their own pace
- avoid interrupting or asking lots of detailed questions
Sometimes simply being heard can be incredibly important.
Reassure Them
Many people experiencing domestic abuse blame themselves or worry they will not be believed.
It may help to reassure them that:
- they are not alone
- support is available
- the abuse is not their fault
- they do not have to make any immediate decisions
Avoid Telling Them What They Must Do
Leaving an abusive relationship can be complex and, in some situations, may increase risk.
Avoid pressuring someone to:
- leave immediately
- report to the police
- make a complaint
- take action before they are ready
Instead, focus on helping them understand their options and access support.
Understanding Boundaries
Supporting someone who may be experiencing domestic abuse can be emotionally challenging.
It is important to remember:
You Can
- listen
- show empathy
- encourage support-seeking
- help someone access information
- raise concerns where appropriate
You cannot
- Rescue someone from the situation
- make decisions on their behalf
- take responsibility for their safety alone
- Provide specialist domestic abuse support unless that is your role
You are not expected to manage the situation by yourself.
If you are worried, seek advice.
When Should I Raise a Concern?
You should consider seeking advice or raising a concern if:
- You believe someone may be at risk of harm
- The abuse appears to be escalating
- There are safeguarding concerns
- Children may be affected
- The individual appears unable to access support independently
- Youcannot are concerned about their immediate safety
You do not need proof before seeking advice.
Immediate Risk
Is the person in immediate danger?
If someone is at immediate risk of harm, has been assaulted, threatened with violence, or requires urgent assistance:
Call 999
Do not wait for a report to be reviewed.
Raising a Concern
If you are worried about a student or member of staff, you can raise a concern through the University's Report + Support system.
Report a Concern
This allows the University's Safeguarding Team to review the concern and consider appropriate support and intervention.
Anonymous Reporting
If you do not wish to identify yourself, you can submit an anonymous report.
Where available, anonymous two-way messaging may allow advice and guidance to be provided whilst maintaining anonymity.
Specialist Support
Specialist domestic abuse services can provide confidential advice and support.
These include:
- Black Country Women's Aid
- Refuge
- Men's Advice Line
- Victim Support
- NHS services
Further information about these organisations can be found within this support section.
Looking After Yourself
Supporting someone who may be experiencing domestic abuse can affect your own well-being.
You may feel:
- worried
- upset
- frustrated
- helpless
- anxious
These reactions are understandable.
It is important to recognise your own limits and seek support if you need it.
Students and staff can access University support services if they have been affected by concerns relating to another person's safety or well-being.
Remember
You do not need to have all the answers.
You do not need to investigate or solve the situation yourself.
Listening, showing compassion and helping someone access support can make a significant difference.
If you are worried about someone's safety or well-being, it is usually better to seek advice or raise a concern than to do nothing.