Understanding Confidentiality and Safeguarding

When Someone Tells You Something Difficult

Being trusted with someone's personal experiences can feel like a privilege.

Whether someone is a friend, colleague, student, family member or member of staff, disclosing something personal often requires courage and trust.

Sometimes, however, the information shared may raise concerns about:

• Safety
• Wellbeing
• Abuse
• Exploitation
• Self-harm
• Suicide risk
• Safeguarding concerns

In these situations, people can find themselves facing a difficult dilemma:

"Do I keep this confidential because they trusted me, or do I seek help because I'm worried about them?"

This can feel uncomfortable, emotional and sometimes even guilt-inducing.

Understanding the limits of confidentiality can help you navigate these situations with confidence and compassion.

What Does Confidentiality Mean?

Confidentiality means treating information shared with you respectfully and not sharing it unnecessarily.

Confidentiality helps:

• Build trust.
• Create safe spaces for conversations.
• Encourage people to seek support.
• Protect privacy and dignity.

Most personal information shared in supportive conversations should remain private and only be shared when there is a legitimate reason to do so.

Is Confidentiality Ever Absolute?

In most safeguarding contexts, confidentiality is not absolute.

There are circumstances where information may need to be shared with appropriate professionals if there are concerns about:

• Immediate safety.
• Risk of harm.
• Abuse.
• Exploitation.
• Serious welfare concerns.
• Risks to children.
• Risks to adults at risk.
• Risks to others.

The aim is not to remove someone's control or autonomy but to ensure that people receive appropriate support and protection when risks are significant.

Why Can This Feel Difficult?

Many people worry that sharing a concern means:

• Breaking trust.
• Betraying confidence.
• Going behind someone's back.
• Taking away their choices.

These feelings are understandable.

Most people who care about others want to honour the trust that has been placed in them.

However, there is an important difference between:

Sharing information unnecessarily

and

Sharing information because someone may be at risk.

Safeguarding decisions are not about gossiping, exposing private information or disregarding someone's wishes.

They are about balancing privacy with safety.

Trust and Safety Are Not Opposites

People sometimes view confidentiality and safeguarding as opposing responsibilities.

In reality, they often work together.

A person may trust you because they believe:

• You care about them.
• You will take them seriously.
• You will help them stay safe.
• You will act in their best interests.

Sometimes acting on concerns is part of honouring that trust.

The most caring response is not always to keep information to yourself.

What Happens If Nobody Shares the Concern?

One of the reasons safeguarding exists is because serious concerns can sometimes escalate when people feel unable to seek help.

Without appropriate action:

• Risks may increase.
• People may become more isolated.
• Opportunities for support may be missed.
• Harm may continue.
• Others may be affected.

Many safeguarding reviews across education, health and social care have identified situations where concerns were known by individuals but were never shared because people were worried about breaching confidentiality.

Good safeguarding seeks to prevent this.

Being Honest From the Start

One of the most effective ways to manage expectations is to be honest about confidentiality from the beginning.

Rather than promising absolute secrecy, it can be helpful to explain:

"I will treat what you tell me with respect and privacy. However, if I become worried about your safety or someone else's safety, I may need to seek advice or share information with the appropriate people. If that happens, I will explain what I am doing and why wherever possible."

This helps maintain trust while being honest about responsibilities.

Sharing Information Doesn't Mean Sharing Everything

When safeguarding concerns are raised, information should only be shared:

• When there is a legitimate reason.
• With appropriate people.
• On a need-to-know basis.
• In a proportionate way.

Good safeguarding is not about sharing information widely.

It is about ensuring that the right people have the information they need to provide support and manage risks.

What If Someone Asks You Not to Tell Anyone?

This is one of the most difficult situations people encounter.

You may hear things such as:

• "Please don't tell anyone."
• "Promise me you'll keep this secret."
• "I don't want anyone else to know."
• "If you tell someone, I'll never trust you again."

These situations can feel emotionally challenging.

Where possible:

✓ Listen carefully.

✓ Explain your concerns.

✓ Be honest about your responsibilities.

✓ Involve the person in decisions where appropriate.

✓ Explain what may happen next.

Avoid making promises that you may not be able to keep.

Respecting Wishes and Feelings

Safeguarding does not mean ignoring what someone wants.

Where possible, professionals will seek to understand:

• The person's wishes.
• Their feelings.
• Their concerns.
• Their preferred outcomes.

These views are important and help inform decision-making.

However, there may be occasions where risks are significant enough that action is needed even if someone does not want information shared.

If You Need to Share a Concern

If you believe a safeguarding concern needs to be raised:

Try to:

✓ Explain what you are doing.

✓ Explain why you are concerned.

✓ Be open and honest.

✓ Continue to offer support.

✓ Reassure the person that they have not done anything wrong.

People are often more understanding when they feel informed and included.

Looking After Yourself

Making decisions about confidentiality can feel stressful.

You may experience:

• Guilt.
• Worry.
• Self-doubt.
• Fear of damaging relationships.

These feelings are normal.

Remember that seeking advice about a safeguarding concern is often a sign of care, not betrayal.

You do not need to make difficult decisions alone.

If you are unsure, seek guidance from an appropriate safeguarding professional.

Key Message

Confidentiality is important because it helps build trust, dignity and respect.

However, confidentiality is not about keeping secrets at all costs.

When there are concerns about safety, wellbeing or risk of harm, seeking help may be one of the most caring and responsible things you can do.

Protecting someone's safety is not a betrayal of trust—it is often an expression of it.